Reaching the highest level 0f vibration in oneself is made possible by the energy that surrounds. It's not something you necessarily see, but an empathetic response in any given moment. People you choose to be around are meant to elevate your internal frequency, keep it in check, and be a voice of reason. Making someone feel welcome is far more than just being around them. In fact, being physically present is not important in order to attain this sensibility.
It's true, this morning I experienced one of those precious moments. A Couchsurfing host started my day with kind notes and gifts to consume. Without ever meeting face to face, I felt love that members of this home undeniably embody. It's clear to them, and now me, that allowing people to explore letting their guard down is at the core of creating a meaningful relationship.
Growing up is a process. It's becoming aware of the role we play in other people’s lives and theirs in ours. It can be a beautiful thing. In it, there's infinite wonder. We begin to understand that what we do is extremely impactful on those around us. This awareness creates curiosity, and a new level of appreciation for the uniqueness of people grows. With a new set of eyes, we can begin to understand the why behind the people we spend the most time around.
Relationships that were once used to distract ourselves from a lonely reality are now amplifier's of our own values. They rope us in with warm tones of security and awe us with courageous energy to take action on embracing who we're called to be. These are beautiful adventures. We get to discover who we are, lose it, then rediscover all over again. Through these failures we learn what's important. We decide between what we need and don't need as we move forward on our journey.
Does anyone else sacrifice who they are more than they should? I know I do. I do it because I'm a people pleaser. It’s often difficult for me to see someone else in pain to the point where I'll take it all in for myself. I hold onto people and relationships to avoid letting go and hurting someone, even if that means giving up what's important to me. Mr. Strength reminded me just the other day that in order "to become who you want, a part of you must die."
A part of you must die. That's both a profound yet scary thought to let sink in.
Death is agonizing. And this death, is one that we must live through in order to receive it's benefits. It takes being grounded, courageous, self-aware, and an ability to advocate on your own behalf even when it may hurt to do so. Which is a tall order when each of those are hard enough to accomplish on their own.
There’s more to it, though. For one, we chose pain within order because it's somewhat controllable, or so we think. It's a belief that knowing what to expect will reduce the significant and harshly painful puncture we're hoping to avoid. We can't be hurt as bad if we know what's coming, right? Excuses like these make it easier to avoid facing the problem head on. We'll create illusions and a laundry list of potential outcomes as reasons to why we should keep pushing off this dreaded confrontation.
In the end, we'll lose. The avoidance numbs us over time and our unique identity fades. The world no longer seems open to possibilities and walls meant to protect us go up. We disguise taking on pain as a strength when really it's only weakening our opportunity to thrive. We stay in relationships because "otherwise we'll be alone." Yesterday, I was going through these many thoughts when I came across a very kind human. On the back of her sweatshirt it read, "your anxiety is lying to you!"
Stepping into the unknown has potential to free us from this pain, but with it comes a chaotic world we have no prior experience with. In comes doubt, fear, anxiety. All of which are monsters of deception. They fill our head with lies and reasons why we should remain stuck in place. We become lethargic to act on what we know to be right for us. The screams of terror are “realities” that are out of our control. They are lies. What we can control is becoming aware of those people and energies that break down our walls opposed to building them high.
We forget so easily that “everything we need we already have.” We work ridicously hard to search for meaning OUT in the world yet so often miss looking IN. Our perception of the world opens up when we choose to be open ourselves. It's much more worthy when we can surround ourselves with energy that allows our guard to come down, Family, friends, partners, who are the people that don't expect you to be anything more than what you are as long as you are attempting to become.
Redefining how we interact with the world takes time to OURSELVES. When we come to that determination and are ready to take our place once again, it's important to know two things. One, that it's okay for other people to not accept this new version of you. It's also okay to advocate on you're own behalf and step back from those people. That's what it means to let a part of you die and truly let go of old ways. Second, it's okay to try on a hat and realize it doesn't fit right. You are not tied down to any specific identity you give life to. You're going to change and so am I. That's a good thing. That adaptability has the power to shift your entire trajectory towards an elevated expression of your soul.